Tag: adventure

Currently working on a Llama LLM, also doing ML with Python scikit… however, I'm not doing it for DMS&UY and good, humanitarian reasons, playing a role in helping to bring about a legitimate change—as I’d hoped—since, combined with the journalism-geared, topic-relevant etymology and taxonomy I’ve developed, along with the DBs I’ve spent hundreds of hours compiling, those efforts could have provided the framework, tools, and insights that indie news outlets can only dream of, certainly not being able to afford those kinds of devs by anyone focused on the usual, dare I say "normal", life stuff.

As I couldn’t afford it or accomplish it on my own, not without field-appropriate “allies” and less than $20,000, which includes the “salary” I was willing to take, such an amount being peanuts for some or easy to raise if those with thousands of fans combined fundraising efforts, instead, I’m doing it for a super-rich corporation just so they can get richer and leverage more power over all of us.

But, at least, I’m making money, right?

Am I genuinely happy? Not really; I could be far happier. But now, at least, I can eat and pay my bills.

Anyone who thinks that the money is what really matters to me doesn’t “get” anything about me, period.

The irony is that I’ll now be doubly shunned, accused of being nothing more than a part of the PMC—Professional Managerial Class—after I’ve tried damn hard to bring my PMC-ness and skills to those who whine incessantly about PMCs... yet rely on them in one form or another.  

•      •      •

I received news two days ago that changes everything; had I been aware of this two week ago, I don’t think I would have accepted the job.

In truth, what this change made me realise is that the only real reason why I took it is because I strongly felt that I needed to do the expected and responsible thing in order to pay off certain debts, the main one, which is the largest and the one I felt most guilty about, is being wiped clean, though not without a long-term cost in the form of a major rent increase, albeit, now being the only original tenant from when I moved in, it’s one that still keeps my monthly rent $200+ below the 7 other similar units in the two apartment blocks owned by my landlord—prices have skyrocketed in Montreal (and Canada as a whole). He’s putting both up for sale in July and this increases represents a big advantage for him and, in a way, helps protect me as well, as a new landlord would surely use the declared loss by my landlord and my far lower rent to boot me out and raise the monthly rent by $400-500.

Anyone not familiar with Quebec rental/leasing laws may think our laws strange and excessive, favouring either renters or landlords, depending on the issue and which side one finds themselves on, but, having been both renter and owner, and having experience in these matters across three provinces and some familiarity with the laws across Canada, I do think that Quebec is the best system in Canada and one of the best in the world.

The laws here are firm, easily accessible, and real clear, and aim to protect renters and landlords equally, providing clear, efficient, and binding recourse for any abuses suffered, be it on either side of the renting tango.

However, one particularity certainly makes Quebec a “special case” worldwide: July 1st; that’s our official moving day across the province. All leases officially start and end on July 1st of every year, making one’s first lease either shorter or longer than 12 months to adjust for that date if one happened to move in before or after July 1st.

February 1st is the deadline for landlords to notify you of any changes, such as rent increases—which are capped yearly—and March 1st is the deadline for renters to notify landlords whether they accept the increase or wish to cancel their lease. Three months notice is the minimum time required by law to cancel a lease, and (crappy) landlords can hold renters responsible for the monthly rent until July 1st. If a landlord wants you to move out prior to that day, they have to have a good reason among those accepted by the Régis, and pay you a minimum of three months of rent plus one month for every year over two years for which one has been a renter.

These days, landlords are real happy to see any long-time tenants leave so they can adjust the rent way up, per current rates. Many of them lie, telling renters that they wish to rent out their unit to a family member, immediate or not—which is one of the valid reasons—but if you can prove that it’s not a family member who moved into your place, then they’re in trouble, facing big penalties paid out to you.

Our system that protects employees and employers is equally well-defined and good, with stern repercussions against those who abuse the laws, so that simply threatening to file a case with that Régis against any employer who knows they’re in the wrong is usually enough to get them to do what’s right.

•      •      •

All and all, having developed the habit to not spend more than I had over a decade ago, my whole debt load is now below $5000, most of that having been incurred since COVID, and roughly 1/5th of that is federal income tax from 2022—due to governmental COVID aid—that I haven’t yet paid off.

My situation could be far worse.

To think, when I was 24, mortgage, vehicle, credit cards and all, I was close to $140,00 in debt.

•      •      •

Since I work remotely, this aspect keeps me relatively isolated and continues to feed my loneliness somewhat, which I’ve put some degree of effort toward rectifying by re-establishing contact with some long-time friends, this change having been helped by my mention that I was leaving Quebec, probably for good; all of the above confirms my notion that life is little more than an ironic twist with a big dollop of absurdism.

I feel I’m back in control of my life and I'm no longer in a depressive state. Yet, albeit I no longer find myself having to leave, there’s a deep yearning in me for a drastic change that’s still present, and, for reasons that are too hard to explain, I feel a sense of regret for not having finally followed through on a long-time dream to sell everything and travel the world freely, writing about my adventures. Plus, the work I now do is "remote", which means I can do it from anywhere.

•      •      •

I’ve looked into Airbnb, which isn’t allowed for the postal code I live in—a regulation passed a few years ago to limit all the conversions to Airbnb-focused units that made renting just a regular apartment increasingly harder—and I discussed a sublet with my landlord, as this would allow me to keep much of my stuff as well as a pied-à-terre in Montreal, and at a relatively decent price, while having the rent paid off and making a bit of extra cash each month, all whilst living out an adventure… but he's entirely against the idea of me subletting the apartment. I've to comply, especially after all he's done for me.

So, what to do???

Like much of the world, but all the more so on a personal level, I’m in need of a drastic change, and staying here, working for a corporation, sure as hell isn’t it!

Sold my electric guitar yesterday. That hurt. Especially for the price I got.

Double sigh.

Soldier on…

•       •       •

Julian Assange. Here’s what I think is happening:

The Brits are under huge pressure to extradite him, but they don’t want to be seen as ‘meanies’ and suffer any potential consequences. Meanwhile, the Desperate Dems want to exploit Assange to prop up a deflated Biden hope of re-election, but the military and intelligence establishment have been pressuring the White House heavily because, well, that kind of embarrassing ‘upmanship’ must be punished, leaving the Biden Bunch eager to wait until after elections to extradite him if left with only one option: jail him for life. Which translates into an accelerated death. And even fewer Biden votes...

In the meantime, Assange can just rot some more. Honestly, after all these years, what's a few more months? Not a patient man, that Assange, is that it?

Any which way, the real “meanies” behind it all aren’t the ones likely to receive any public scorn; that anyone should cheer for his extradition, wishing that he receives a life sentence... there's something wrong with you 

•       •       •

That suicide note, I didn’t post it because I’m looking for pity. It’s because I’ve moments of “Holy shit! What am I doing?!” that, combined with the ‘aloneness’ with which I make this leap—and everything else—had a way of suddenly swinging my emotional pendulum into the dark, and my thoughts, composings, and planning back to tweaks and acts revolving around that ‘note’.

Best way to kill it was to post it publicly. And it's also the best way to put the complaints they usually carry into a relevant and far less drastic context.

As all other content creators will acknowledge, I’m sure, the mere act of doing so forces one to make a more lucid, more self-critical, and more broadly contextualized assessment of what one is making available to all.

That said, seems I can be quite the melodrama queen. "Insignificant", boo-hoo. I'm full of shit, aren't I?

 I’m in a bad bind, but that’s about it; I still have my health, head, and limbs, etc. Compared to Gazans, including the Burmese and Congolese, they sorta make me feel embarrassed to be complaining about my current 'state'. In a better world, 7-Oct would have waited until 16-Mar-2024 so the proper and warranted global attention can be brought to my case!

People! Aren't you paying attention?! I'm white. And educated. With blue eyes, and grey hair, but post-blond ones! Are you really gonna let this happen? Where's your sense of humanity?

What's that? Oh, bloody hell! Fine. Take care of the Gazans first as you allow society to degrade further.

And so, perhaps more appropriate would have been: If I had to do it again… I’d pay my fucking rent!

Of course, when you’re in that dark well, it’s not so easy to see things as clearly, while, nonetheless, it’s easy to say, but having the ‘will’, alone, doesn’t grant one the power to print money.

However, there’s much I could have done differently; simply, I could see no reason to go through all that again to be, most probably, miserable “during” to then be forced into an “after” that were to dump me at an identical “before” that brought me no further, and no closer to where I’d like to be.  I forced the issue, clearly; unconsciously at first but very consciously afterwards, albeit with a “if, or else” conditional clause setting one of two next steps. The third, the one I’m embarking on now, had appeared wholly unviable and not worth considering seriously.

Untill, I faced the abyss, the clock counting down past the 16-hours-to mark… it’d be so very hard to describe what occurred and what I glimpsed, but I was jolted back to a sober place that made that third option a complete no-brainer I’d be completely brainless to avoid.

It's official!

If I were to not do this now, I’d assuredly die here in my increasingly shrinking and darkening 3rd-floor hole, and probably far too many years too early.

I'm feeling increasingly invigorated. Excited 

My only real concern is the fact that I'm out 'on the streets' in mid-March, which is sure to deliver nasty winter weather still, it coming in the form of at least one heavy snow storm. I'd do some camping each May with music-fanatic friends, all of us meeting up at the annual, world-renown Festival international de musique actuelle de Victoriaville (FIMAV) for the 33 to 35 'new music' concerts spread over 4 days—always a mind blowing experience, which I'll probably miss again this year, though I'm now wondering if someone is slated to cover it for AAJ... maybe I can get a free pass in exchange for a write up?  That'd be nice, but forces me to stay in Quebec until late May. But, anyhow, my point was: nights can be real cold still that late in the year if camping.

Working on a few things for here in between readying my stuff for sale... more news soon.